This past weekend was my school’s Homecoming.

What I really meant to say that this weekend was my alma mater’s school-wide shitshow. Everyone knows that that’s not water in your water bottle or Sprite in your Sprite bottle. I was guilty of it myself, except I disguised it better:

Yeah, that’s definitely filled with Riesling

Since I just graduated this past May, I technically don’t really feel like an alum just yet. Coming back to dirty Worcester felt no different except for the fact that I was homeless and couching it on my wonderful Little’s couch all weekend long. Usually, Homecoming is waaaay later, like end of October. Two years ago, it was on Halloween weekend. Because of its earliness, the crispness of Fall unfortunately wasn’t in the air. Thanks to global warming, it was disgustingly humid. The weather called for rain all weekend…but that didn’t happen, so people (including myself) weren’t dressed correctly for the weather. I began drinking at 6am on Saturday, so I remained in a constant state of inebriation all day. I went to the liquor store about 3 times throughout the day, so I’m pretty sure they know me quite well there now. At 12pm began the usual float parade and fraternity/sorority cookouts on the quad, which is actually no longer a quad due to heavy construction. There were other activities and sports games that were going on, but I naturally stayed near my sorority’s table. There were so many people to hug, so no one could really say more than the mandatory “How are you?!” and ask questions that could easily be self-answered by simply stalking my Facebook page. A short amount of time to reconnect with so many people. Also, since when did it become okay for someone who hated you during college to see you and hug you and say “Hi!”. I’m sorry, we mutually did not acknowledge each other’s presence during college, so why would that change now that it’s over?

My wonderful Little and I

But what do the alum do at night during Homecoming? Long gone are our days of fraternity and apartment-party hopping, so instead, we go to bars. Which in Woo, actually look like fraternity basements. One in particular, is the one that EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER goes to for Homecoming Saturday. I hate this place with a passion, and will never return. During my undergrad, I only went once, and I was blackout drunk because that’s the only way you can be to enjoy yourself at this place. Because I was drinking all day Saturday, there was unfortunately no level of higher drunkenness that I could get to, so I actually dared to go to this gross bar in my semi-sober state. BIG MISTAKE. It was so terrible there. Terrible music, terrible drinks, terrible smell. It was so muggy in there that the ceiling was dripping condensation. I could only stand one tequila sunrise, then I was out of there. I left sweaty and disappointed. Laying on my Little’s couch was like laying down on a cloud and I quickly drifted to sleep.

Naturally, my body woke itself up on Sunday around 7am (thank you corporate world). However, I was surprisingly not hungover. No it wasn’t my head that hurt…it was MY WHOLE BODY. It felt like I got stoned with bricks. I couldn’t move without feeling like I had run a marathon. I think it’s honestly from hugging so many people and being picked up, squeezed, bumped into, etc. I honestly didn’t get up from my makeshift couch-bed until about 2pm. Then I ate lunch, said some goodbyes, and was on my way home  by 5pm. Words cannot describe how amazing a shower felt after spending a humid weekend in the dirty Woo. I hope that’s not what Homecoming weekend is always supposed to be like because I think I’ll return for the next 2 years and only be staying during the day on Saturday.

Now it’s back to work 😦