attention sorority girl: you’re definitely not in college anymore

It’s been about 6 months since I’ve graduated and while it has already hit me that I’m not in college anymore, there are still some pangs of nostalgia that I get at times. I definitely blame Facebook and I try to limit my time that I spend on it. I don’t like the way nostalgia makes me feel. It makes me feels helpless and sad. It makes me wish I could go back and really enjoy whatever I was doing in that past moment because I never knew how much I would actually miss it. I figuratively graduated long before I literally graduated. I jumped ship last October, even though I had little over a semester left until graduation and the fact that I was actually taking classes that I needed in order to graduate. I was fed up, over friendships, over partying, and over the whole college scene in general. I wanted to be social without feeling the need to go to a grimy, dingy fraternity basement or a bar filled with desperate, attention-seeking girls and creepy guys (hey, it’s Worcester).

Like I said before, there are certain pangs that bring on my feelings of nostalgia, and the particular pang I’ve been feeling lately is due to my sorority’s current recruitment. Don’t roll your eyes, each and every sorority is different depending on the school and chapter. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of arguments and wanting to throw in the towel with my sorority. Along with the couple handfuls of life-long friendships I’ve formed in my sorority over my undergrad years, there are those moments that prove to be on the same excitement-scale as Christmas. One of those is Bid Day.

Imagine spending two weeks of grueling long practices and recruitment rounds to get a class of new members. New members that are better than yourself, that hold the same values as you, that will bring in an even better class the next year – the future of your chapter. It’s a feeling that I guess only a sorority girl would know.

No matter how different each sorority is, there is no difference in the universal feeling on Bid Day: PURE HAPPINESS. At my college, bids are given out at noon at the mailboxes in the Campus Center (CC). We stalk the new members from the moment they enter the CC until the moment when they open their mailboxes. Sometimes, I don’t even think let them actually finish reading the bid card. We then bombard them with hugs and gifts. It’s a start of a journey, and it’s what you make it. I was the New Member Orientation Chair last year, so Bid Day last year was all my doing. From the moment those 40 bids were given out at noon, I was in charge of a class of 40 members until their initiation 7-weeks later. I guess it’s a role that hard to get out of.

These past weeks, my Facebook news feed has been filled with statuses about Alpha Xi Delta, new members, and Bid Day. I can’t help but feel nostalgic. I want so badly to like a status, but if I like one, then I would feel obligated to like 50+ more, since the Alpha Xi Delta chapter at my school is very large haha (I’m obviously not close to a lot of the girls in my chapter). I try to stay away, and to let the undergrads enjoy their moment. I feel old, I feel like an alumna, and I feel like I’m definitely not in college anymore. I realized that in a couple of years, when the current sophomore class is graduated and gone, who will I go back to see ? There will be no one familiar there waiting for me. I guess it’s a feeling that everyone goes through at the end of a stage in their life.

In the meantime, I think I’ll just continue creeping in the background until the feelings of nostalgia pass.