end of the year wrap-up and new focus

I like to limit my posting to twice a month. It always surprises me when someone decides to follow my blog or likes one of my posts. I never really expect to be talking to anyone in particular when I write these, or anyone to really read them. However, I’m glad that people have thought of me as ‘worthy’ to follow haha. I know it’s a bit early to be writing an ‘end of the year’ post, but I figured I’d write one before Dec. 21st…you know. Anything could happen.

This year honestly flew by. I think it was the fastest year I’ve ever experienced. I find beginnings and endings very symbolic. I love the beginning of each day, month, season, year – just as much as the endings. I use them as a time of reflection, usually asking myself:

– What I’ve accomplished?
– What quality of life did I allow myself to have?
– How can I improve my quality of life and what would I like to see change?

my creation from today, on an outing with my mentee

my creation from today, on an outing with my mentee

I mostly write these down, along with the weekly happenings, in a journal I keep – a new entry every Monday. I think it’ll be funny to look back on these ramblings when I’m 30, and look at my journey from a bigger picture.  A few months ago, I remember mentioning how I am being proactive about my career situation. Trying to change the fact that I don’t like where I work, or what I do. Sometimes the route we decide to take isn’t always what’s best. The path I think I should be taking, might land me in an even deeper rut than I was before.

So that’s my focus this coming year – to do what I’ve always wanted to do: teach. From engineering to teaching. Although I’m sure the need for math and science teachers isn’t as dire as everyone is making it seem, it’s a career path that I’ve secretly always wanted before the brand new charter schools, Teach For America, and other education reform attempts. I love science. Science is life – it is all around us. I made no secret of my wish while growing up, always loudly proclaiming to my parents: “I WANNA BE A TEACHER!” But everyone told me: “Teachers make no money.” And now: “You’re gonna be so unhappy.” “From engineering to teaching? In this economy? Are you crazy? But why not? Why not now? If money was not a factor, are you doing what you would like to be doing? There are parts of engineering that I do enjoy. The practice…not so much the theory. I’ve always been passionate about the state of education in this country. I respect teachers for what they do. There aren’t too many careers where you have the opportunity to make a difference in 30+ lives in one year. I owe it to 3 teachers for sparking my interest in math and science and unknowingly leading me to chemical engineering. I know of bad teachers. The ones who have burnt out and forgot why they went in the profession in the first place, and take it out on the students. The ones who play favorites and obviously hate children. I know how it feels to be that student – to sit in class and not understand a single thing that’s going on. I know how it feels to feel stupid, to try at a problem, and fail time and time again. I am forever grateful to the teachers who would not let me fail.

The funny thing is that I’ve tried this route before. I applied for Teach For America the Fall of my senior year of college. I made it through the initial application review, got invited to the phone interview, made it past the phone interview, got invited to the final interview, did the final interview. I waited a month. On April 4, 2011, I checked my email.

Rejection.

I didn’t cry, but I felt hurt and confused. I felt lost. I understood it was competitive, but there are some kids they chose who were just using TFA as a resume filler. Going to put in their 2 years teaching and then go to law school, or get their PhDs.  What did they see in those kids that they didn’t see in me? And just like that, I stopped trying. Just like that, I let someone else decide that I wasn’t good enough, and I gave up on my dream of becoming a teacher. But hindsight is a funny thing. Not to at all bash TFA, or those who are TFA teachers, but I am so thankful that I never got accepted to TFA. I will be like the teachers before TFA and pursue a teaching career the conventional way. I have many options I can take, so my free time is occupied by putting my plan in motion. I’m excited for what these endeavors will bring.

Here’s to family and friends.

my two little sisters

my two little sisters

And I’m also trying to acquire the taste for red wine.

IMG295

courtesy of my friend Maddie

I think all these things are doable, so let’s go 2013!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s